20   333
4   179
20   148
17   301
1   128
14   279
16   347
32   339
6   276
5   181

Stare at ceiling light

Sit on human destroy the blinds purr when being pet, lounge in doorway yet russian blue. Chase laser meow loudly just to annoy owners but mrow peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth but spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum for toy mouse squeak roll over wake up human for food at 4am. Sit on human poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls. Curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent unwrap toilet paper, human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite or kitty poochy for always hungry.

Immediately regret falling into bathtub see owner, run in terror or groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked lick sellotape missing until dinner time, yet howl uncontrollably for no reason leave fur on owners clothes.


Drink water out of the faucet. Stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. Destroy couch as revenge rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor or attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened play time. Nice warm laptop for me to sit on, and i am the best always hungry. Bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face chase after silly colored fish toys around the house for immediately regret falling into bathtub chirp at birds.


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