I’M NOT READY FOR ADULTHOOD, AM I A FAILURE?

There’s no doubt that life is bloody hard, however, are we putting too much pressure on ourselves and making it even harder than what it actually is? In my life, the answer is YES. I’ve recently finished my degree, which has been celebrated by me feeling completely burdened by my life. The phrases ‘Who am i?, What am I doing with my life?, Am I a failure?” are too common in my mind. The fear of having a mundane cafe job for the rest of my life has 100% sunk in and pulled me under the wave. Ideally, finishing university should be one of the most exciting times of your life, surely I should feel relieved and happy? 

I think the issue that’s hit me the hardest, is the fact that this is the beginning of my future. The rest of my life starts after graduation. Just think of all the milestones that are ahead of me, I’m not ready for that kind of pressure, I’m not ready for adulthood! There’s nothing more frustrating than having a mini existential crisis at this point in your life. I feel like I’m in a fog, just a little funk. I know it will pass, however, the constant fear of not fulfilling my potential, not proving what I’ve worked for and disappointing my family and friends who’ve supported me throughout university has well and truly stamped its imprint on my brain.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts”

– Winston Churchill 

With this in mind, the question of why I’m actually putting all this pressure on myself, even though no-one else is, is definitely lingering. However, whenever I open Instagram, I’m flooded by posts of girls my age living the dream. Great job, lovely home, just completely killing it. HOW? HOW ARE YOU AT THAT POINT? TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!  Social media is the worst at these times in your life, although the fact that Instagram and other social media platforms allow people to only share certain aspects of their lives, the aspects that are considered ‘perfect’ my society, it does put a lot of pressure on you, even though I know at the back of my mind, that that’s not the full story. 

If you’re feeling like this too, you’re not alone. Let me be a reminder that you’re not a failure and please don’t put other people and their lives on a pedestal just because they’ve got a good Instagram grid. Although Instagram is fun and all, is social media really worth feeling so miserable about your own life? Over the past few weeks, I’ve realised this more than ever, I’ve realised that although I want to do well for myself and make my life one of remember, I shouldn’t allow myself to feel like a failure based upon the judgment of other people. You shouldn’t have to earn people’s praise or respect or idolise people we see on social media because it’s more than likely that their life isn’t as perfect as it’s made out to be, that’s what I’m trying to say. You’re not alone if you feel like this too, I’m slowly learning to make lemonade out of my lemon filled life. Surely the good things will come hand in hand with how hard I work.

(Yes, I’m a big fan of Harry Styles’ new album, loving those 70’s inspired/ Bowie vibes) 

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