From the moment I went into secondary school, it was as though a switch flipped and I went from being a loud, sociable child, to an awkward, quiet teen. That’s something that hasn’t changed going into adulthood and my mid-twenties. I’ve always enjoyed my own company and keeping to myself, but the question is, is this damaging my social life, career and my relationships? Or is it important that I’m aware of how I re-charge and acknowledge the balance that I need in my life.
This isn’t to say that in social situations I don’t thrive and engage with others, I do. I absolutely love my friends and attending events and establishing strong connections with others, however, once I’m back home and in my ‘comfort zone’ once more, the anxiety and worry starts to settle in and I feel rather overwhelmed by those situations.
When it comes to starting a new year, I put way too much pressure on myself to achieve my goals and go head first into all the tasks that I’ve set myself for that year. I want to make sure I’m still seeing my pals, working hard on the career POV and maintaining my own mental stability, it can really be a lot to cope with. Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather have yearly goals and aspirations, but I think it’s important to allow yourself to recharge and go at your own pace, but, what why is being introverted in your adult life seen as such a negative thing?
I’m definitely more of a ‘secret introvert’ people don’t usually describe me as quiet or reserved, however, things like small talk and networking makes me feel so phoney and uncomfortable. I tend to go home and over analyse everything I’ve said and cringe a little bit at the situation as a whole.
Jacket: Vintage (From Pop Boutique) Hat: Monki (sold out) Bag: Oliver Bonas* Shoes: ASOS* Jeans: ASOS* Blouse: Sézane (Gift)
Do you ever find yourself living for social moments and feeling full of live whilst you’re in them, but once you’re back home, you need about 3-5 working days to recharge from said social activity? Because same here. I thought this was just me for a very long time, I’d go to a work, blogging or just a general social event and come home and feel so completely drained from being fully engaged for a handful of time. Whenever I’ve opened up about this to my likeminded friends, they’ve all completely agreed with how I feel and said that they’re the same when engaging in social scenarios.
With social media, I think we feel the pressure to constantly fill our lives with fun activities and friends is always lingering. There’s a pressure when we see what everyone is doing all the time, when you’re sat in alone on a Friday night nursing a cup of tea and catching up on Netflix, there’s people out there documenting their Friday night out with friends on social media and some may say that they get FOMO (Fear of missing out) however, that true introvert in me gets JOMO (joy of missing out) if I’m. being honest.
That’s not to say that I never leave the house and have evolved into a social recluse, however, I like my socialising in doses. This also falls into the work/life balance for me. If you recharge by going out and drinking, then do it. If you’re like me and recharge by sitting on the sofa and reading a book alone, then do it. However you recharge is personal to you and the world we live in, or the persuasion of our friends should not change that. Don’t burn yourself out for the expectations of others is what I’m trying to say.
Being introverted has its pro’s and con’s. Sometimes I love the fact that I don’t feel the need to plunge myself into a night out every Friday, or attend every work night out or after work drinks session. The majority of the time I don’ t go because being an adult is bloody expensive, however, sometimes I just value the time when I have absolutely nothing to do and can just have some ‘me’ time.
On any occasion where I do decide to stay for work drinks or meet up with some pals for something more than coffee and a catch up (basically any situation that I’m not 100% comfortable with) I end up finding myself absolutely word-vomiting and attempting to fill any silence with a frankly pointless and uninspiring story (or so I feel it is anyways) The mixture of having anxiety with all of this just don’t work. As soon as a conversation goes silent and begins to slowdown, I feel the need to fill that silence in the hope that it stops and awkwardness. But as those words are coming out my mouth, I wish I’d just kept it shut and learned to enjoy silences, rather than seeing them as being negative and uncomfortable.
Some may say, ‘well just don’t put yourself in those situations’ but I do love those situations. I just completely overthink every second of them – Thus referencing being a secret introvert. I handle those situations well externally but internally I’m cringing and I need to go home and allow myself some breathing space to well, recharge those social batteries.
Until next time x
